How to Lead Your Family Spiritually (Even If You Feel Unqualified)
(Yeah, that’s me and my son & daughter. This picture was taken in 2012, if I remember right, I was a young dad with 3 kids. It’s one of my favorite pictures of all time.)
Let’s be honest—spiritual leadership sounds like a big, intimidating responsibility. Maybe you feel like you don’t know enough about the Bible. Maybe you don’t pray as much as you should. Maybe you think your wife is more spiritually mature than you, and you’re just trying to keep up. If that’s you, you’re not alone.
The truth is, no man feels completely qualified to lead his family spiritually. But here’s the good news: God isn’t looking for perfection—He’s looking for faithfulness. You don’t need a theology degree, and you don’t have to know all the answers. You just have to be present, willing, and committed to growing alongside your family.
Maybe you grew up without a father who led spiritually, so you’re not sure where to begin. Or perhaps you’ve made mistakes in the past and wonder if you’ve already failed in this area. But leading your family spiritually isn’t about where you’ve been—it’s about where you’re willing to go from here.
Spiritual leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice or making grand gestures. It’s about faithful consistency—showing up, modeling a love for Christ, and making faith a part of your family’s everyday life. Your family doesn’t need you to be a spiritual giant; they need you to be present, engaged, and growing alongside them.
If you’ve ever felt unsure about where to start, this guide is for you. Let’s break down how you can lead your family spiritually—even if you feel completely unqualified.
1. Understanding Your Role as a Spiritual Leader
What the Bible Says About Spiritual Leadership
Leading your family spiritually isn’t about control or authority—it’s about serving them and pointing them to Christ. The Bible lays this foundation:
Ephesians 5:23 – “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” (This means servant leadership, not dictatorship.)
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 – “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children.”
Joshua 24:15 – “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Spiritual Leadership Is About Stewardship, Not Power
Many men misunderstand spiritual leadership as a position of control. In reality, it’s a responsibility of stewardship—caring for your family’s faith journey as God has entrusted it to you. Jesus Himself modeled this kind of leadership when He washed the disciples’ feet (John 13:12-17). True leadership is servanthood.
You lead by example, not by demand.
You inspire through humility, not control.
You guide through love and patience, not force.
What Spiritual Leadership Is (and Isn’t)
✅ It’s about being present, not perfect.
✅ It’s about seeking God together, not having all the answers.
✅ It’s about living your faith authentically, not forcing it on your family.
✅ It’s about leading with grace, not guilt or pressure.
God Uses the Unqualified
Think you’re not cut out for this? Join the club. God has a history of using men who felt unqualified:
Moses – Told God, “I’m not a good speaker.” Led a nation anyway.
Gideon – A fearful man hiding from enemies, chosen to lead Israel to victory.
Peter – A hot-headed fisherman who denied Jesus. Became the rock of the early church.
Paul – A former persecutor of Christians. Wrote most of the New Testament.
The point? God equips the men He calls. And if you’re a husband or father, He’s calling you. The question isn’t, “Are you ready?” but, “Are you willing?”
2. Building Your Own Spiritual Foundation
Before you can lead your family, you need to grow in your own faith. This doesn’t mean you have to become a Bible scholar overnight, but you do need to take steps to grow. A strong spiritual foundation in your own life will give you the confidence to lead your family well.
Simple Ways to Build Your Spiritual Foundation:
Read the Bible daily – Even just 5-10 minutes a day can transform your perspective.
Pray regularly – Talk to God in a real, honest way. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just consistent.
Find a mentor or men’s group – Surround yourself with other godly men who can encourage and challenge you.
Listen to faith-based podcasts or sermons – Strengthen your understanding of biblical principles while driving or working.
Memorize scripture – Start with short verses that speak to your role as a husband and father, such as Proverbs 3:5-6 or Colossians 3:23.
Take ownership of your growth – No one can do this for you. Your family will follow where you lead, so set the tone for spiritual growth.
Dealing with Doubt and Spiritual Struggles
Every man faces doubts, struggles, and spiritual dry seasons. But leading your family doesn’t mean having a perfect faith—it means showing them what it looks like to trust God even when things feel uncertain.
Be honest with God. Read the Psalms—David poured out his doubts and fears, and God still called him a man after His own heart.
Surround yourself with truth. When doubt creeps in, lean on God’s Word instead of your emotions.
Model perseverance. Your family needs to see that faith isn’t about feeling “on fire” all the time—it’s about faithfulness over time.
The Power of a Growing Leader
As you grow in your faith, your leadership will grow too. Your family will follow what you live, not just what you say. Even small, consistent steps will make a lasting impact.
Remember, a great spiritual leader isn’t the one who knows the most—it’s the one who keeps showing up.
3. Leading Your Family in Everyday Life
Spiritual leadership doesn’t mean running a two-hour Bible study every night. It’s about bringing faith into your family’s daily life. Here’s how you can do that:
1. Start Small and Simple
Pray together before meals and bedtime.
Read a short Bible passage at breakfast or dinner.
Ask your kids what they learned at church and talk about it.
Share one way God has blessed you that day.
Make family prayer a habit, even if it’s just 30 seconds.
2. Make Faith a Natural Part of Conversation
Look for teachable moments in everyday life—whether it’s a tough day at work, a school challenge, or a conflict.
Talk about God in normal conversations. Ask, “Where did you see God at work today?”
Discuss moral dilemmas in real life or movies and bring a biblical perspective.
Let your kids ask questions. Even the tough ones. It’s okay not to have all the answers.
Conclusion: Step Forward in Faith
You don’t have to be a perfect man to be a faithful leader. The greatest leaders in the Bible weren’t perfect—they were simply willing to step up. Your family isn’t looking for a flawless spiritual leader; they need a father and husband who is present, engaged, and leading them toward Christ, even in the small, everyday moments.
Spiritual leadership is built over time. Every prayer you pray, every Bible verse you read, and every conversation about faith you have with your family adds another brick to the foundation. It won’t always feel like you’re making progress, but consistency is what matters.
Start small. Pray. Read. Talk about faith. Take one step today, and then another tomorrow. Leadership isn’t about how much you know—it’s about how faithfully you show up.
And remember: God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. If you’re willing to step forward, He will equip you with everything you need.
So step up. Your family needs you. And by God’s grace, you’re more than capable.
Until next time.
Praesis ut prosis ne ut imperes,
Shawn